Guidance · Memory changes
When someone you love is living with memory changes, start with the question you have today.
Whether or not a doctor has used the word dementia, the guidance below is for families caring for someone at home. Pick the situation closest to yours, or call us and talk it through.
What does memory support at home include?
Memory support at home means helping each day keep its familiar shape: the usual routines, meals, company, medication reminders, help with bathing and dressing where it’s needed, and a calm presence through the parts of the day that have become harder. It works alongside your parent’s doctor, and a registered nurse writes the care plan with your family. We provide personal care in Connecticut and New Jersey. In New York we provide companion care, by the hour, overnight, live-in or around the clock.
What is the question you came here with?
- They won't accept helpEvery offer gets turned down, and pushing only makes it harder. This is the most common reason families call us, by a distance. There are gentler ways to bring help into the house.How to introduce help
- Late afternoons and evenings have become harderMore restlessness or confusion as the day winds down, and the whole household feels it.Understanding sundowning
- I'm not sure they should be alone as muchYou want to respect their independence and you'd like a clearer way to think it through.Thinking through safety at home
- They've started heading out and getting confusedA walk that used to be easy has become a worry. There are practical steps a family can take.What families can do
- The days feel long and emptyLess to do and fewer people to see. The right activities can bring back some enjoyment and routine.Activities that help
- I'm the one who's worn outYou're the husband, the wife, the son or the daughter, and it's been a long stretch. Your rest matters too.Caregiver burnout
Why familiar surroundings matter
Why staying in a familiar home can help
When memory is changing, the house itself does some of the remembering.
A kitchen where the cups have lived in the same cupboard for thirty years helps someone keep doing things for themselves. The same goes for the order of a morning, the chair someone sits in, and the route to the bathroom at night. Keeping those things in place does more than comfort somebody. It helps them function each day.
Familiar people matter as much as familiar rooms. We choose a caregiver with your parent in mind, introduce them before the first visit and keep the schedule as steady as we can, so the same face comes through the door. Our caregivers take three-hour dementia training sessions, and our nurses hold the eight-hour Certified Dementia Educator certification.
As things change
When needs change, the plan changes with them
Memory changes rarely stand still, and the help around them can change too. Your Care Manager keeps you updated, and the care plan is reviewed as needs change. When evenings get harder, we can add hours. When nights are broken, an awake overnight caregiver can take that shift so the family sleeps. If the doctor asks for nursing in Connecticut, our separate company, Endurance Home Health, can work alongside the caregivers you already know.
And if you’re the one doing most of the caring and you’re worn out, tell us. That is reason enough to bring in more help.
Questions families ask
Do you provide dementia care?
Yes. We call it memory support at home. A caregiver helps keep the day familiar, with the usual routines, meals, company, reminders and help with the parts of the day that have become hard, and gives the family a rest. Caregivers take three-hour dementia training sessions, and our nurses hold the eight-hour Certified Dementia Educator certification.
Why does this site call it memory support instead of dementia care?
Connecticut sets rules for how a Homemaker-Companion Agency describes specialized care, so we use the name that describes what our caregivers do: daily support built around memory and the routines that go with it.
Will a caregiver correct them when they say something that isn't true?
No. Arguing with a memory that has changed tends to cause distress without changing anything. Our caregivers meet the person where they are, redirect gently and keep the moment calm. That's almost always the kinder response, and it works better too.
Can the same caregiver come each time?
That's what we aim for. Familiar faces matter a great deal when memory is changing, so we choose a caregiver with your parent in mind, introduce them before the first visit and keep the schedule as steady as we can. If it isn't working, we find someone else.
To see how the help is arranged, read about memory support at home. More articles are in guidance on memory changes.