For family caregivers
If caring for your mother or father has started to take more than you have to give, a regular break can help.
Caregiver Burnout: When Helping at Home Becomes Too Much
Endurance Home Care, a Stamford family business started by two brothers who cared for their own grandmother with dementia, works every week with family caregivers who have reached the point where helping at home becomes too much, and helps them get regular breaks with respite care at home.
Burnout usually builds slowly: a few broken nights, then weeks of them, until there’s little left of you by the afternoon. Family caregivers often describe the same things. They snap at a parent they love. They keep moving their own appointments. They stop returning friends’ calls. They dread days they used to manage without a second thought.
None of this means you’re doing it wrong. It’s what happens when one person carries the care with nobody to take a turn, and a regular break is how families keep going. If respite care is new to you, start with what respite care is.
How it tends to build
- 01Holding on
You're covering extra hours and the week still works. Sleep is short, but it comes back.
- 02Slipping
Your own appointments start to move: the dentist, the walk, the friend who keeps calling.
- 03Short-tempered
Patience goes before energy does. You hear a tone in your voice you don't recognize.
- 04Running on empty
Ordinary mornings start with dread, and sleep has stopped helping.
Everyone’s different. These are the stages family caregivers often describe.
Why does it keep getting harder?
Caring often grows one event at a time. A fall means someone should be in the house at night. A hospital stay brings home new instructions and appointments to get to. Changes in memory mean the evenings need someone there. Each one is manageable on the day, so families take it on without changing anything else.
Nothing comes off the list to make room, so the days get longer and nobody takes a turn. That’s a good moment to look at help, and to know what respite care costs before you’re deciding in a hurry.
- AfterA fall
- Someone may need to be in the house at night.
- AfterA hospital stay
- New instructions, follow-up appointments and a busier week.
- AsMemory changes
- Evenings may need someone there.
- Over timeIt adds up
- Each change stays, and the days get longer.
You’re not failing your parent. You’ve been doing a job meant for more than one person.
A break gives back the patience and energy that caring takes. Endurance Home Care was started by Chris and Tom Weldon after they cared for their own grandmother, who was living with dementia, so they know the guilt families can feel about stepping away.
Guilt shouldn’t make the decision for you. The Alzheimer’s Association lists exhaustion that makes it nearly impossible to complete necessary daily tasks among the symptoms of caregiver stress, and describes respite care as a temporary rest from caregiving while the person living with dementia continues to receive care in a safe environment. A break doesn’t take care away from anyone. Someone else keeps the routine going for a few hours.
Source: Alzheimer’s Association, caregiver stress and respite
What happens during a respite break?
Nobody has to move anywhere. A caregiver arrives, keeps the routine going for the hours you choose, and hands it back to you. The National Institute on Aging explainer on respite care is a helpful read, and our respite care service explains how breaks are arranged.
What the caregiver helps with
A caregiver can help with personal care, homemaking, company, rides, medication reminders and keeping an eye on safety, in whatever mix your household needs.
- Personal care
- Homemaking
- Companion care
- Transportation
- Medication reminders
- Safety supervision
How long a break can be
In every state we serve, care can run from hourly visits through 24/7 care and live-in arrangements, so the break can be an afternoon, a night’s sleep with an awake caregiver on hand, or a week away with a live-in caregiver or caregivers working awake shifts. We provide personal care in Connecticut and New Jersey. In New York we provide companion care, by the hour, overnight, live-in or around the clock.
Who comes
A caregiver chosen for your parent and introduced before the first visit. In Connecticut, Endurance is registered as a Homemaker-Companion Agency, and the agency works across Connecticut, New Jersey and New York.
Registration HCA.0002450
Endurance Home Care helps with daily life at home: company, meals, the house, errands, appointments and, where it's needed, hands-on personal care. For skilled nursing, home health aides or physical therapy in Connecticut, our separate company, Endurance Home Health, can help.
How it starts
Call our care team and tell us which hours are hardest. We’ll talk through how a break could work. A person answers this line.
(203) 936-6847
Next step
Where do I start?
You don’t need a plan before you call. Start with which hours are hardest, and what you’d do with them back. We’ll talk through how a break could work for your family.
Call our care team at (203) 936-6847, or request a call and we will call you. Both reach the same office in Stamford, Connecticut.
Questions families ask
What are the signs of caregiver burnout?
Common signs include tiredness that sleep doesn't fix, a short temper with the person you're helping, letting your own appointments and friendships slip, and dreading days you used to manage. Many caregivers feel guilty for noticing. A regular, scheduled break, such as respite care at home, is the standard first relief step toward feeling like yourself again.
Is it normal to feel guilty about taking a break?
Yes, and many family caregivers feel it. Guilt is the most common reason families delay help. Taking a break isn't walking away; it's how you keep going for the long run. While you're away, a caregiver keeps your parent's routine going at home, and you come back rested. Starting with a few hours a week is a gentle way to see how it feels.
How do I get a break if my parent refuses outside help?
Start small and let the right person help. A short visit for something practical, like a meal or an errand, can be easier to accept than an open-ended arrangement. One family wrote in a Google review about their dad after a hip replacement: "He really did not want anyone helping him, but her amazing personality won him over." We choose the caregiver with your parent in mind.
What kind of help covers a break?
A respite caregiver can help with company, homemaking, personal care, rides, medication reminders and keeping an eye on safety. Breaks can be arranged by the hour, overnight with an awake caregiver, with a live-in caregiver or around the clock. You choose when you need time back, and the caregiver keeps the routine going while you're away.
Let’s talk about getting you a break
Tell us what the week looks like and which hours are hardest. The first conversation is free, and nothing starts until you say so. Endurance is registered in Connecticut and licensed in New Jersey.